A day in the life of the HET woman

The Festive season and holiday period is a long and challenging time for most children and families of those diagnosed with behavioural problems – and others!
How many parents/ carers have worried over their child saying the most awful thing at the worst possible time to the worst possible people?

See… you are not alone – this happens to everyone and the truth is it doesn’t have to be with a child with behavioural problems – either.

During the time when I was implementing the HET programme at a pupil referral unit and researching various ways of measuring its effectiveness – I had the privilege of meeting J***.
A PRU or pupil referral unit is a school where children who show behaviours which are so extreme that they cannot cope in mainstream school are sent – the idea is that they are shown strategies that help them cope better and then are reintegrated back into mainstream
Well back to J***

J*** had been born deaf, part of his hearing system was missing so he was never going to be able to hear or speak properly as a result. However he did have a magnetic device implanted which could help him work with sound – but being magnetic of course, it wasn’t long before the other kids in the unit sussed out that “Goal of the day” could focus around who could flick the closest paper clips at J*** and get them stuck on the side of his head.
When he did manage to really wind some of the other kids up – they would take rough justice into their own hands and invariably, J*** ended up magnetised to the side of a filing cabinet with his feet dangling off the floor.
Sadly, he did manage to wind a lot of the other kids up and spent many an occasion dangling off a filing cabinet somewhere until a member of staff got him down!

J***’s lot was generally not a happy one and his behaviours reflected the vicious cycle he got himself into. Unfortunately his Mom and Dad were not in a position to really help him as they had separated and were quite clearly far too busy getting at each other, blaming each other and putting each other down. Most of this strategy involved using j*** as a way to get at each other and sadly could not agree over anything. J*** ended up the pawn in the game playing out between them – to try and get them to agree together some consistent boundaries to support him was mission impossible and they would end up fighting each other, thinking they were getting at each other but only really getting at J***.

The Festive season in a pupil referral unit is always a time of great challenge but the important thing to survive the season is to maintain a sense of humour at all times.

It was the day of the Christmas dinner – all the important dignitaries of the City had been invited to share Christmas dinner with the children, governors, inspectors, Mayor, educational psychologists, doctors – you get the picture?…
Well…. there I stood waiting patiently in the dinner queue when in stormed j*** - evidently not having a happy moment, having had to hang around on the side of a filing cabinet for a while – so I called him over in front of me into the dinner queue to avoid the possible, yet somehow inevitable ‘kick off’ point.
“J***, come over here with me in the queue and get your dinner first.”
Imagine the stunned silence that fell over the crowded room as this blue eyed, curly blonde haired, angelic, 7 year old little boy turned round looked at me and yelled across the dining hall at the top of his voice...
“Suck my C**k!”
What could I say or do ?– As a staunch vegetarian? Other than reply..
“Well if’s it’s all the same to you – I think I’ll stick with the Rudolph’s pie – thanks!”
For other suggestions on surviving the festive season with a child with behavioural problems – or what to serve on Christmas day – to avoid a hyperactive diet – please visit our site